so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
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