i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
