Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
That bitch ruined vodka saturday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
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