im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
