Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
