from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Randomize
