i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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