I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
