just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Randomize
