It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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