Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
