i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Randomize
