He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
