Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
