So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
