Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
Randomize
