she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
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Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
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whose ass print is on the piano?
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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