So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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