Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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