no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
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