i jhust puked up my retainher.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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