you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
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he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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