that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
Today some guy at work told me I had the nicest hair he's ever seen and my response was "thanks I grew it myself". This is why I'm single.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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