and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
