i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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