he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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