All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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