According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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