but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
