So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
