i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a picture of me licking the bouncers ear last night
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize