You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
