My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
