i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
