i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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