I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
