My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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