I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
