Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Hey I have your shoes. Do you remember shouting "Police brutality!" when the bouncer was kicking you out last night?
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
Randomize
