i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
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