He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
Either I'm drunk or judge Judy has 3D commercials...so I think I'm drunk. Also I may or may not haven eaten a hoagie on the toilet when I didn't want to stand up
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
Randomize
