he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I think people are normalizing furries
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Are you hungover?
No. I'm hiding under my covers and hoping it doesn't find me.
Randomize
