I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
Randomize
