gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
No...this little piggys going to the bar
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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