I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
