That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
You need a new phone. When you talk it sounds like the teacher from Peanuts while she's trying to give a blowjob.
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