He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
