that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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