For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Last night I crashed my housemates tinderdate, smoked his weed and then left. He felt too awkward to say no.#Empowerment
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
