what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Randomize
