I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Randomize
