The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
