Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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