dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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