I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
That's terrible. At least give it a creative name like muff mobile.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
Randomize
