in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
someone lit off fireworks while I puked in the street. I was like congratulating me for making it through homecoming.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
His constant posting of "inspirational" Taylor Swift quotes over the past 3 days has me a little worried. It's like, holy shit dude, you're almost 30.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize
