It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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