i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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