i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
Randomize
