no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
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