I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
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