Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
WHAT DID YOU SAW VERBATIM. VERBATIM IS SOBER FOR WORD FOR WORD
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize
