I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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