Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
Never let your siblings swipe right.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
